Hey, Left this site for quite a while.
Few important events in these few months. My cousin, we grew up together, was diagnosed with brain tumor. Something which I never expected looking at how cheerful she is. But God has a better plan for her. During the turmoil, she was surrounded by all the people you truly care and love her. Thats just Priceless.
Visited her after the major operation. She was cheerful as always. We talked and laughed. It was a memorable moment.
Got to go now.
Wednesday 17 October 2012
Wednesday 1 February 2012
Chapter 3 : What is Love
What is Love ?
No one knows. An overrated word which has been manipulated to describe emotion.
Personally, I would very much want to believe in the existence of love but until this moment, it still a big question mark. Words are easily uttered without thinking about the consequences. Without the sense of commitment or obligation. It just another word to complete a sentence.
Love is expensive, that's how I would define it. Love is a sacred word. Taboo. Something that you just cant simply say.
I have heard this word been said to me thousand times. Or more. I lost count. But, I always experience this funny feeling whenever I hear this word "Love". It tickles me. And my mind will do its routine job, evaluating and evaluating. And picking up the slightest gestures to ensure nothing is left unevaluated. The eyes. Yes, the eyes would definitely be the first Victim. The litmus test. Blue or Red ?
I have grown to be extra careful and bit deaf when comes to this issue. Not that Im a heartless woman, but extra precaution is no harm. Im much stronger alone. Emotional dependency makes me weak. I become the other version of me..weak, moody & full of nasty tantrums. Some say Love makes you stronger, but this rule doesnt apply to me. Not yet. When ? Only God knows.
Through my journey, loving myself proven to be the only Love that exists. Everytime when Im being left, I turn to myself. Digging my strength at the lowest point. And God the only one who I strongly believe..always there at good and bad times.
If I would to redefine Love, only my love is to God the Almighty. No one else....
No one knows. An overrated word which has been manipulated to describe emotion.
Personally, I would very much want to believe in the existence of love but until this moment, it still a big question mark. Words are easily uttered without thinking about the consequences. Without the sense of commitment or obligation. It just another word to complete a sentence.
Love is expensive, that's how I would define it. Love is a sacred word. Taboo. Something that you just cant simply say.
I have heard this word been said to me thousand times. Or more. I lost count. But, I always experience this funny feeling whenever I hear this word "Love". It tickles me. And my mind will do its routine job, evaluating and evaluating. And picking up the slightest gestures to ensure nothing is left unevaluated. The eyes. Yes, the eyes would definitely be the first Victim. The litmus test. Blue or Red ?
I have grown to be extra careful and bit deaf when comes to this issue. Not that Im a heartless woman, but extra precaution is no harm. Im much stronger alone. Emotional dependency makes me weak. I become the other version of me..weak, moody & full of nasty tantrums. Some say Love makes you stronger, but this rule doesnt apply to me. Not yet. When ? Only God knows.
Through my journey, loving myself proven to be the only Love that exists. Everytime when Im being left, I turn to myself. Digging my strength at the lowest point. And God the only one who I strongly believe..always there at good and bad times.
If I would to redefine Love, only my love is to God the Almighty. No one else....
Friday 20 January 2012
Chapter 2 : A Dreamer
A dreamer. In one simple word, I'm a dreamer.
From small, I had weirdest dreams on so many things. My dreams are big and high, I build my fantasy life based on what my mind could imagine. I kept all my dreams in deepest closet until one day it turns into reality, then only I reveal them to the world. Dreams have no boundary, that what make them so mysterious. No one taught me that to dream is mandatory but it comes naturally to me. Maybe I had so much idling times or maybe I had no one to talk to. Or both. My dreams were mainly compiled during my childhood phase. Few prominents dreams would be..to further my study overseas, to have a job which pays well and have the oppurtunity to travel, to own a house which I can have my own room with an attached bathroom (hehe..funny) and to drive a fancy cars.
But, I havent dreamt of Mr.Right or how he should look like. Nothing in that manner. Now, I understand..my failure to get Mr. Right because I havent pictured him in my life ! I left out that part of dream without realizing how important to have a right partner. I started to make some simple notes after my marriage failed. So my next Mr. Right should have this, this and this. We'll see if it this magic works this time around.
So, I taught my 2 lovely sons to start sketching their dream life. "You have to be certain of what you want in life, be specific!" in my stern motherly tone of voice. Passing the life lessons to my sons. Hopefully they will start to compile all the good things in life which they would want to achieve. Including Mrs. Right !
From small, I had weirdest dreams on so many things. My dreams are big and high, I build my fantasy life based on what my mind could imagine. I kept all my dreams in deepest closet until one day it turns into reality, then only I reveal them to the world. Dreams have no boundary, that what make them so mysterious. No one taught me that to dream is mandatory but it comes naturally to me. Maybe I had so much idling times or maybe I had no one to talk to. Or both. My dreams were mainly compiled during my childhood phase. Few prominents dreams would be..to further my study overseas, to have a job which pays well and have the oppurtunity to travel, to own a house which I can have my own room with an attached bathroom (hehe..funny) and to drive a fancy cars.
But, I havent dreamt of Mr.Right or how he should look like. Nothing in that manner. Now, I understand..my failure to get Mr. Right because I havent pictured him in my life ! I left out that part of dream without realizing how important to have a right partner. I started to make some simple notes after my marriage failed. So my next Mr. Right should have this, this and this. We'll see if it this magic works this time around.
So, I taught my 2 lovely sons to start sketching their dream life. "You have to be certain of what you want in life, be specific!" in my stern motherly tone of voice. Passing the life lessons to my sons. Hopefully they will start to compile all the good things in life which they would want to achieve. Including Mrs. Right !
Chapter 1 : What about me ?
What about me ?
Where to start ? What to write ?
My parents maybe..they are quite interesting characters themselves especially my mom.
MA
She's Thai, PURE Thai. Hardly understood any Malay words when she first got married to my father. Her Thai accent is so strong..that I couldn't help myself from bursting into laugther whenever she pronounces Malay words. An unique lady she is..fair, strong character and stubborn (yes, I inherited that from her).
As the eldest..I argue with her most of the time. I believe 2 strong persons couldn't agree to each other on most topics..from favourite colours to soulmate. Everything has two sides of stories. But..I'm her favourite daugther, no doubt about it.
ABOH
Aboh is a quiet man. He doesnt express himself well. Bonding time with him is almost..impossible. At certain point..I hardly talk to him. Not sure what to discuss..or how to start a conversation with him.
Suprisingly..he has lots of friends (followers). I'm still puzzled, how he manage to gain so much supports without Voice! I should learn that secret tricks from him. I believe, some men are Charismatic. That reminds me of Broery..somehow, I think Aboh looks like him..hmmmmm. Unfortunately, Aboh is not a good singer (maybe)..unless he can sing but no one knows. Hidden talent.
My Aboh is also a good looking guy. Most of the time, he was mistaken for a Thai actor..hehe.
Where to start ? What to write ?
My parents maybe..they are quite interesting characters themselves especially my mom.
MA
She's Thai, PURE Thai. Hardly understood any Malay words when she first got married to my father. Her Thai accent is so strong..that I couldn't help myself from bursting into laugther whenever she pronounces Malay words. An unique lady she is..fair, strong character and stubborn (yes, I inherited that from her).
As the eldest..I argue with her most of the time. I believe 2 strong persons couldn't agree to each other on most topics..from favourite colours to soulmate. Everything has two sides of stories. But..I'm her favourite daugther, no doubt about it.
ABOH
Aboh is a quiet man. He doesnt express himself well. Bonding time with him is almost..impossible. At certain point..I hardly talk to him. Not sure what to discuss..or how to start a conversation with him.
Suprisingly..he has lots of friends (followers). I'm still puzzled, how he manage to gain so much supports without Voice! I should learn that secret tricks from him. I believe, some men are Charismatic. That reminds me of Broery..somehow, I think Aboh looks like him..hmmmmm. Unfortunately, Aboh is not a good singer (maybe)..unless he can sing but no one knows. Hidden talent.
My Aboh is also a good looking guy. Most of the time, he was mistaken for a Thai actor..hehe.
Chapter 0: Preface
Hi there..
I'm not sure whether creating a blog a wise thing to do. Friends suggested that I should write. My life stories are...quite unpredictable and crazy (I might say). My close friends love (or maybe force) to hear me nagging (sorry dear friends) or whining. They said..I should sell my life stories to a script writer so they could dramatize them to the max. Not a bad idea, after all. So, my head runs wild..thinking of who should play my role. Angelina Jolie ? Nope..way too pricey or too beautiful. Maybe I should just settle for that lovely actress by the name of Rozita something. Her actings are quite brilliant. Put the drama aside first...too much drama kills the contents.
I'm not sure whether creating a blog a wise thing to do. Friends suggested that I should write. My life stories are...quite unpredictable and crazy (I might say). My close friends love (or maybe force) to hear me nagging (sorry dear friends) or whining. They said..I should sell my life stories to a script writer so they could dramatize them to the max. Not a bad idea, after all. So, my head runs wild..thinking of who should play my role. Angelina Jolie ? Nope..way too pricey or too beautiful. Maybe I should just settle for that lovely actress by the name of Rozita something. Her actings are quite brilliant. Put the drama aside first...too much drama kills the contents.
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